Birthday Musings

I want to be vibrant, alive and feisty. No more; ” oh, I didn’t get much sleep last night”, “Oh Caspian is too…. , we can’t come”. Bugger that. Tomorrow I am Mid-aged, half way to 90. I want to be old, healthy, robust. Damn it- I want to make 100! To be very much … Continue reading Birthday Musings

A year on

At last. The respite and holiday care disaster is almost over. We finally received a new NDIS plan with the capacity for Caspian to have holiday care. Hurrah! I cried for 20 seconds in relief and then…. Nothing. A victory for now perhaps, but the foolish trust I had placed in bureaucracy has been burned … Continue reading A year on

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and … Continue reading Invictus

Iceberg

If only this was a scratch and sniff page. You could then get a whiff of the vomit I just retched onto the page as I started writing this blog post. If I told you that I can no longer afford to send my son to special needs vacation care or respite because it’s gone … Continue reading Iceberg

Lies

There seems to be something magical about ones early 40’s. Have you breezed through your early 40’s without a hitch or a glitch? Bloody lucky if you have! The majority of 40 somethings that I hang about with have been stressed beyond belief, challenged in many areas that they used to excel in. It seems … Continue reading Lies

Wishing

I’ve written stacks of wish list plans, “vision statements”. Two I really got right. In 2001 in my first year of practise I wrote a vision statement of my One Day practise. I promptly buried said paper in an avalanche of notes. I spent the next 13 years pretending I didn’t want to have my … Continue reading Wishing

Mending

Woo Hoo! I’m starting to feel better! I no longer feel as though I have fallen into a terrible deep hole.I no longer feel as though I will disintegrate and cease to be. Do you know what suprises me most about my exhaustion adventure? well 2 things…. How incredibly interlinked mental health and physical health … Continue reading Mending

Stand For

Do you know what you stand for? Not stand against…but stand for? What interests you? What encourages you & fires you up? What do you fight for? What do you stand for? I wrote a little manifesto a few months back. My Beloved laughed saying “ you never talk about that, you aren’t that!” I … Continue reading Stand For

Congratulations!

This is the parenting memo I received: How sneaky is this! This memo completely glosses over the required personal development program that is also expected as part of parenthood. If you don’t follow the development program you can end up balding with a comb over, looking like mutton dressed as lamb, divorced as of the … Continue reading Congratulations!

Forgetting

I was feeling miserable and sorry for myself. A woman rang, attempting to con me into some scheme. She sounded so defeated my heart bled for her. 1000’s kms away she was doing a job she hated just to make ends meet. It sounded like it was killing her. Each one of us has our … Continue reading Forgetting