Oh what a day. Today I realised that I am spending 20-30 hours a week currently in the kitchen creating meals for Caspian. I work 2 days a week at the moment, as a chiropractor and this is fewer hours than the new “job” I have. Now I understand why utter chaos has developed in my house ( I am a creative soul, so tidy has always been an issue).
I was gifted with time out this evening with my husband and friends and I have just come home to the smell of burnt rhubarb crumble. Oh! I had left them in the oven, six of Caspian’s future meals, burnt and gone.They are sad, blackened little meals. All the energy and effort to create them, gone, wasted! I feel like a little mouse inside a treadmill racing to catch up, just to fall behind again. Like so many mums I feel I have too much to do with not enough time and energy to do it in. If I didn’t work I would have more time, but I would possibly be less satisfied within myself, or perhaps not. Perhaps I would just have even more work to do?
In truth, it is all worth it in the end. Caspian’s language has become clearer and more understandable just in the last three days. He has returned to three word sentences, hurray! hopefully the four and five word sentences from last September won’t be too far behind. To add to all of this is … no seizures for two weeks! so all that time and effort, and burnt offerings, is worth it in the end.