This is the parenting memo I received:
How sneaky is this! This memo completely glosses over the required personal development program that is also expected as part of parenthood.
If you don’t follow the development program you can end up balding with a comb over, looking like mutton dressed as lamb, divorced as of the result of attempting to catch a younger lover, driving a Ferrari at 73 and your grown children loathing you. What a kicker!